The Key to a Fruitful Marriage

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Once in awhile I find fresh-picked lemons on the kitchen countertop. They remind me I made the best decision of my life 24 years ago today.

My husband works as contract support staff for a large law firm. He rarely talks about the place, but apparently somebody in the office brings in bags of fruit from her lemon trees. And at some point my shy, seemingly unprepossessing husband grabs one or two and stuffs them into his backpack to bring home for my daily cup of tea.

Initially the mysterious lemons left me baffled. Now they remind me of just how far we’ve come as a couple.

Like all newlyweds, we started doing things a certain way, and over time our habits became our family rituals. Those rituals now, as then, are the glue that holds us together in good times and provides secret solace in bad ones. If something suddenly changes, we both sense trouble. Of course, some habits we vow to break for the sake of household harmony. But as I type this, I see that he still defiantly tucks his shirt into his sweatpants and I continue to cook the spaghetti sauce my way, not his. It’s July 12th, though, which means today we use our mental mute buttons and talk only of our good fortune over all these years.

There are those who would not be impressed by our bank account balances, and there are those who believe we coddle our grown kids. Their opinions once mattered to me, but as life unfolds and the casualties of faulty unions pile up, I think they missed the point of lifelong partnerships. That’s why those lemons mean more to me than any diamond or fancy dinner I could be enjoying right now. Those small, thoughtful, unexpected gifts do more than make my mornings; those lemons let me know this marriage will not sour.

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