Quick! Where's the guacamole?

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Everyone's familiar with the prank called TPing, right? It's where someone in the middle of the night flings rolls and rolls of toilet paper all over your house, your trees, your gardens...leaving quite a public display and mess. If you -- or the vandals -- are extra bad, plastic utensils are implanted throughout your lawn too. The kids call it "getting spooned."

Around here, I'm told, being the target of such a stunt is considered a badge of honor. At least in high school circles. In fact, some 'victims' get out their cameras, not as evidence for police but as additions to the family photo album.

So what, then, should we make of the fact last night we were "tortilla-ed"?

Apparently around here tortillas are thrown on hard-to-reach places, like rooftops, to melt, rendering them unremovable. In our case, the culprits decided to flank our car with the flour versions. Was it our motion-sensored flood lights that forced them to flee before the job's done? Were we targeted because of my husband's Mexican heritage? Or is this part of a hush-hush crime wave of tortilla assaults? A message from the illegals that live in our canyons? The Minutemen? For all I know, some doofus decided last night he only needed one tortilla from the package and thought our car the perfect place to fling the other seven.

This brand of vandalism isn't making me mad or making me laugh (anymore, at least). Now it's making me hungry.

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