Getting Ahead of the Curve

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In 2010, social scientists asked some 340,000 people in 72 countries to rate their happiness using a 0 to 10 scale over a series of questions. The charted results of that seminal study resembled a U-curve, indicating people generally were happy in their 20s and 30s and then start to hit rough times in their late 30s/early 40s, reaching a low point in their early 50s before bouncing back up around 55 and beyond.

One theory for the mid-life dip is that we realize, to paraphrase George Bernard Shaw, we’ve gone from being a man or woman with a future to a man or woman with a past. Certain achievements are cut off—like running a Fortune 500 company after toiling away as a mid-level manager or running a sub-3-hour marathon after decades as a mid-packer. We also start to suffer the unintended consequences of earlier lifestyle choices: having too much house; addictions; divorce or desertion; diabetes from a poor diet; arthritis from too many miles run on roads; etc.

By the study’s standards, I should be on a happiness upswing. But in recent weeks I’ve been pulled down to that low U after losing two once-dear friends and buying a new Fitbit. 

These two friends, who knew each other when we all hung out together in our 20s, died under very different circumstances. One was unable to escape a deep depression and killed himself. The other died of cancer. Both left behind loving sons and wives who have received a lot of support that will help them get through difficult times ahead.

What has me weighed down, though, isn’t just their loss, but how we found out. In both cases, someone had to let us know, a week later, because we were no longer as involved as we once were. This is inevitable if you don’t make the effort to stay in touch and have a big life change yourself.

Everyone, meet our new grandson:




He came a little early and a little, well, little. But in the past [almost] month since his birth, he has added almost two pounds and is closing in on my girls’ birth weights. Everything you’ve ever heard about becoming a grandparent is absolutely true. The bond is immediate and strong. Grandchildren crowd out whatever ill feelings or dark clouds surround you and remind us that life does go on even after other people pass.

I want to be with this little fella as much as possible, and it helps I’ve never been a deep sleeper so staying up all night once a week to provide respite to his bone-tired parents is not a big sacrifice. Because of him, I am caught up on my Netflix and Hulu cues. Because of him, I can stop obsessing about the fact that everyone from my past seems to be dying. Because of him, I’m gonna probably regret even showing up to run a 5k on the beach this Saturday afternoon (especially if the Santa Anas don’t die down as anticipated and we have both a tough surface and extreme heat).

Wanting to beat this terrible trend among our friends, I’m back on the health wagon—not that I ever fully disembarked. But I continue to improve my nutrition and am back to regular exercise. A few weeks ago I bought the aforementioned Fitbit after my Garmin died on me and then I made due for the last three years with my ol’ Timex Ironman stopwatch. It’s been an eye-opener to go out for a short run, come back thinking I did 3 miles in 30 minutes, only to be told by my watch that I didn’t go as far or as fast as I thought. Just another in a string of wakeup calls that I both need and accept, especially as I head into another all-nighter on Friday. 

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