Two Weddings
Rarely does the bride’s parents’ speech play a major factor, but that’s just because they never heard the speeches I gave. I got a lot of compliments on both, though perhaps that was just the effects of a five-hour open bar talking. Still, I thought it might be a nice way to introduce you to the newest members of our family.
Alex & Alex, August 26, 2017
Scripps Seaside Forum, La Jolla Shores
I’ve been ordered by Her Highness and a high-ranking member of her court to keep it short. So, without further ado:
In preparing for this moment, I asked Lynn to tell me what her Alex was like as a boy. She told me that when Alex was between 2 and 3, whenever they went to the zoo or SeaWorld or anywhere there were crowds of kids, if Alex saw a little girl with blonde hair, he’d run over to check her out. He apparently had a fascination with anyone fair-haired, and Lynn thought to herself, “Someday my son is going to marry a blonde.”
And so, he did. Once again proving what we all know deep down to be true: Mom’s always right.
It made me consider how weirdly and wonderfully love works. Here you have two people out of possible billions that were born in opposite worlds – she from the land of long winters, and he from endless summers. She moved frequently as part of a military family; his family remained firmly rooted. They never knew the other existed until they attended the same Scripps Ranch middle school and deepened their friendship after moving into the same UC Davis dorm. Over time they realized first that they liked each other more than the others and then, later, that they loved each other like no other.
Which brings us to today, where they promised before the heavens and us humans to do for each other what we, their parents, long ago taught them. To share and play fair. To watch out for each other. To hold hands and stick together.
So thank you for being part of a very important day for both our families. And thank God that in the end it was our little girl with blonde hair that Alex chose.
Elise & Johnny, September 14-15, 2018
Mt. Tamalpais State Park near San Francisco & Hopmunk Tavern, Novato
One Saturday about a year ago Gilbert and I went to buy a new car. We’d just sat down to start the negotiations when I got a text from Johnny asking if I had time to talk. I’d never gotten a text from Johnny, and when I showed it to Gilbert I said, “This is either really, really good or really, really bad.” He agreed and told me, “I think you better take it outside.”
So that’s how I ended up about an hour later standing just outside the dealership doors listening as Johnny began, “You know how much I love your daughter….” My heart rate quickened and my mind whirled. Then he told me that he’d woken up that morning and decided this was the day he was going to propose.
Now I’m grinning and nodding and jumping around. And somewhere in the course of the conversation he said that he was calling because he’d once asked Elise if he were to ask her to marry him, was there anyone he should talk to first. And she said, you have to tell my mom. And I started to cry. By now the people who’d seen me jumping with joy were returning from the lot. Everyone tried to avert their eyes, no doubt thinking they were witnessing one of the worst cases of buyer’s remorse.
But I was crying because, as a mom, to hear that after all these years I still had such high standing in my daughter’s life was such a gift. So thank you both for that. And thank you, everyone, for being part of our families’ celebration as Elise & Johnny start their life as husband and wife.
Those of us with full tenure in the institution of marriage are often eager to impart wisdom on newlyweds. Just know going in that there will be the occasional pop quiz, so be ready to respond—and quickly--to such questions as “Why did you do that?” and “Does this make my butt look big?” You’ll also be required to engage in healthy debates over everything from vacations to vocations; do not expect to always win.
Know too that the requisite “home” work takes time to finish—more time and more patience than you may realize. You’ll know you’re closer to completion when it finally dawns on you that there will always be this one person who truly gets you, who will be there for you and who will love you unconditionally, even when you keep forgetting to lock the front door, leave a plate of food where you damn well knew the dog could get it, or swear that big dent in the passenger’s side door wasn’t there last time I drove the car.
That dinged up car, though, and especially the day we said good-bye to it will always hold a special place in our hearts and in our families’ personal histories. Because that was the day we sat down to make a deal and I got a text from Johnny asking if I had time to talk.
