Sh*t Happens

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Whatever rough morning you think you’re having, I’m about to trump it.

We’re going deep into TMI territory, folks. Even seasoned search crews will wince.
This morning our Saturday walk/run/hike group met up at Mule Hill Trail in Escondido for a lovely hike on a fog-shrouded path that meanders along farmland and this morning included a close(ish) encounter with a coyote so large we initially mistook it for a deer.

This course is totally runnable, but I decided to just walk at a brisk pace to avoid jarring my intestines. I’d “gone” before we arrived, but I still had reservations.
I walked. I talked. And I talked a lot. At no time did I feel any, let say, sensation even as we all got into our cars at the end of the hike to head to a special breakfast at the Golden Egg Omelette restaurant. Instinctively, I felt my backside before I sat down and … oh God, it wasn’t just moist with sweat. And my hand didn’t come up just wet.

I gagged, grabbed a towel and began to wipe as everyone headed up the freeway.
Normally, I’d call the group and say I’ve gotta go home. But this was a special breakfast for those of us celebrating March birthdays. And that included me. I don’t live close enough to Escondido to make a quick detour and the nearby mall wasn’t open yet. And I did not bring a change of clothes.

I honestly didn't know what to do.
So, I rushed to the restaurant and made a beeline for the bathroom, which was blessedly a single, stall-less room with a full soap dispenser, deodorizer and paper towels instead of air dryers. I cleaned myself and my Lycra  capris and undies as best I could.
Then I rejoined the party, second-guessing if I did the right thing.  Regardless of my self-obsession, it was a wonderful morning and I received gifts of scented items … and wine. My friends know me well. And they understood when I passed on the cake.

The rest of today I’m hanging out with Twilah, a beautiful black lab who doesn’t see anything wrong with pooping in public. But hours later I’m still trying to figure out what happened and how my body could betray me in such an embarrassing fashion, failing to come through in a clench. 

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