Just Not Tough Enough

Used to be race officials tried to mask a course’s difficulty with euphemisms like “rolling landscape” and “negative net elevation” for a very hilly, challenging route. Nowadays they play up those rigors, whether it’s natural obstacles, like steep, rut-filled trails, or manmade ones like the electric shock treatments in a Tough Mudder race.  

So it was when I read that the inaugural Griffith Park half marathon and 10k trail run would be tough, I figured I would rise to the occasion. I looked at the course, the elevations, those crazy directions and as time drew near I fixated on one of them: Come prepared.

I won a race entry in Jeff’s giveaway over at Detroit Runner. And I didn’t want to let him or the race director down. I also told everybody and his mother I was doing this. So for weeks leading up to today, I told myself I could do this. That I would do this.

But my body wasn’t responding in kind.

I’ve neglected my running pastime (and, let’s face it, blogging) for months now out of necessity. As a result, I'm weaker, stiffer and still unstable on my feet.

All I could think about in the days and hours leading up to the race was what a wonderful opportunity I had been given. This is an expensive race, and it’s only a 2-1/2 hour drive away if traffic and weather cooperate. And I really, really, really wanted to see that freakin’ Hollywood sign from a different perspective. And, yes, to blog about it.

But it was my husband’s birthday, and LA ain't his kind of town. And I hadn’t run long enough in a couple of months, and the local trail runs I did were slower than the pace to get me to the cut-off. And I thought of how awful I felt during my last trail race. And how awful in general I feel now.

Add a last-minute request from one of my favorite freelance clients, rain in the forecast and the fact I’d have to now drive up there in the middle of the night, and I knew I was being foolhardy. A universal round a cheers when I announced my decision to my friends confirmed I was making the right one, for me and for now.

That doesn’t mean it was easy or that as I type this I’m not stewing in regret. (We gave up an invitation to see a great musical for this too.) We don’t get many opportunities like this, and the fact I wasn't ready to take advantage of it has me see myself in a different, glaringly accurate and somewhat ugly light. Whether this confirmation fuels another comeback or helps me reprioritize my life remains to be seen.

So, thank you, Jeff, for the giveaway. And thank you to the Griffith Park Trail organizers, especially Keira, for your generosity. You weren't kidding when you said this would be tough.